June 15 St. Vitus

St. Vitus was converted to Christianity at age twelve by his tutor, Saint Modestus, and his nurse Saint Crescentia. His father showed his objection to the conversion by having all three arrested and scourged. There began an odd journey which led to St. Vitus being the patron of vastly different groups.

Freed from prison by angels, they fled to Lucania, then Rome. There Vitus freed the son of Emperor Diocletian from an evil spirit. When Vitus would not sacrifice to the pagan gods in celebration, his cure was attributed to sorcery, and he and his household were arrested again. Tortured, and condemned to death, they were thrown to the lions; the lions would not touch them, so they were thrown into boiling oil. At the moment of their deaths, a immense storm destroyed several pagan temples in the region, which led to the tradition of protection against stormy weather.

When Vitus was thrown into the oil, a rooster was thrown into the oil with him, sacrificed as part of the ritual against sorcery. A rooster became a symbol for Vitus, and its connection with early rising led to Vitus’s patronage and protection against oversleeping.

For obscure reasons, some 16th century Germans believed they could obtain a year’s good health by dancing before a statue of Saint Vitus on his feast day. This dancing developed almost into a mania, and was confused with chorea, the nervous condition later known as Saint Vitus’ Dance, the saint being invoked against it. His connection with such “dancing” led to his patronage of dancers, and later to entertainers in general and in particular.

January 26 St. Paula of Rome

Patron Saint of Widows

St. Paula was a lovely woman, a Roman domestic goddess of the fourth century. The Martha Stewart of her time. Born into and married within the Roman aristocracy, she had five children, hosted numerous social functions, raised money for the poor and was a perfect politician’s wife. Unfortunately her husband died at a relatively young age and St. Paula was a widow at the age of 32. After making sure her children were settled, she began a new career as champion of the poor – both in Rome and Jerusalem. Eventually settling in Bethlehem, she established a church, hospital, monastery and convent. She is buried under the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.

January 21 St. Agnes of Rome and St. Lawdog

Saint Agnes Patron Saint of Girl Scouts

St. Agnes was one of those thousands of martyrs during the late 200s, early 300s. After proclaiming her faith she was dragged to the temple of Athena. When she refused to be sexually sacrificed, several men, feeling sorry for her,  offered marriage. Still she refused, claiming Christ as her Holy Spouse. They then killed her. I am not sure what Thin Mints and Samoas have to do with her life, but think of all the martyrs of the early church while indulging in those tasty treats.

St. Lawdog.

He is not the patron of anything, no surviving information survives to modern day other than he founded four churches in Wales and started a monastery that went on to produce some of the finest minds in Wales and Scotland. I just wanted to include him because he has a waaay cool name. And a great confirmation for some boy who wants to snub his nose at his family and parish priest.

January 20 St. Sebastian

Patron Saint of Acireale,Italy; against cattle disease; against enemies of religion; against plague; archers; armourers; arrowsmiths; athletes; Bacolod, Philippines diocese; bookbinders; Borgonuovo-Pontecchio, Italy; Bracciano, Italy; Caserta, Italy; Castel Gandolfo, Italy; Cropani,Italy; diseased cattle; dying people; fletchers; Gallipoli, Italy; gardeners; Grondona, Italy; gunsmiths; Huelva, Spain; Hünxe, Germany; hardware stores; ironmongers; La Seu d’Urgell, Spain; lace makers; lace workers; lead workers; stone masons; Palma, Spain; Mallorca, Spain; plague victims; police officers; Pontifical Swiss Guards; Qormi, Malta; Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; Rocca Priora Italy; Puerto Rico; Savigliano, Italy; Solarolo, Italy; soldiers; stonecutters; Tarlac, Philippines diocese.

That is quite the list. There is a reason. St. Sebastian lived during the rule of the Roman Emperor Diocletian in the late 200s. This was one of those times where thousands were murdered for being Christian. Long lists of martyrs and gruesome deaths. But St. Sebastian was no ordinary Joe Schmoe. He was from a wealthy family, good looking, the Roman ideal. A soldier who was making his way up through the ranks. A golden boy. He had been noticed by Diocletian himself. When he converted to Christianity, he kept his job, and upward mobility, but in his spare time he took food and creature comforts to those Christians imprisoned in Rome. Given the paranoia and fear in the upper levels of the government and military during this period, it was only a matter of time before he was discovered. Diocletian had him tied to a tree and shot him with arrows. He was left to die. But he didn’t die. He survived. After a lengthy recovery, he decided to go to Diocletian to discuss his new-found religion. The Emperor couldn’t believe his good fortune that one of his failed murder attempts walked into his office unarmed. He promptly had St. Sebastian beaten to death.

Fast forward a few short years. There is a new emperor,the great Constantine the First. Christianity is now in style. Where to find an ideal Roman example when Romans have been taught to fear and hate Christians? Why the Golden Boy, the perfect example of the ideal Roman, Sebastian! The PR campaign soon had everyone clamoring to claim Sebastian as their own. From towns to careers to diseased cows – they all wanted a piece of him. Constantine was no dummy. He knew a great ad campaign for his new religion. Sebastian once again became the golden boy of an emperor.

Some of the patronages make sense – arrows, armourers, dying people, fletchers (ok, had to look that one up. They are arrow makers). All part of his life story. There is a reason for the plague. People suffering from the Black Plague often compared it to being shot with arrows. But hardware stores?

January 5 St. Apollinaria/Dorotheos

Patron Saint of Transvestites

Born Apollinaria to wealthy Roman parents, she knew from a young age she want to live as a male hermit. Following a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, she ran away in Egypt. After several years in the desert, she present herself at Sketis, the famous desert monastic colony, as Dorotheos the Eunuch. While there are many stories surrounding Dorotheos, many Orthodox scholars can find reliable sources stating her birth, disappearance,  residency at Sketis and the discovery of her gender after her death. I found two wonderful reflection on her life and impact for the modern Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay and Transgendered community.

“At work here is an old notion that women are saved in so far as they have “male souls”, a repeated term of praise in lives of female saints. These women’s lives do show that the Levitical Law was not determinative in Christian estimations of holiness, and that modern rigid gender categories had much less role in earlier epochs of Christianity than nowadays. These saints found a place in both Orthodox and Roman calendars.” Paul Halsall

“Apollinaria’s story and motives are remote from our time, and ‘transvestite’ is not to be confused with ‘transgendered’. Still, whatever the full historic truth of Apollinaria/ Dorotheos specifically, it seems to me this is a useful story to hold on to as a reminder of the important place of the transgendered, and differently gendered,  in our midst.

Many of us will remember how difficult and challenging was the process of recognising, and then confronting, our identities as lesbian or gay, particularly in the context of a hostile church. However difficult and challenging we may have found the process of honestly confronting  our sexual identities,  consider how much more challenging must  be the process of confronting and negotiating honestly a full gender identity crisis.

Let us acknowledge the courage of those who have done it, and pray for those who are preparing to do so.” Terence Weldon